A. It is a very powerful exercise to contemplate how your experience of life might change as a result of achieving recovery.

In this, talking to others who have survived and recovered (such as myself), reading books by recovered persons, listening to teleconferences that feature recovered persons, reading blogs and participating in communities such as MentorCONNECT where there is a strong recovered presence can all serve to give you additional inspiration and ideas for why recovery is worth the hard work involved.

For me personally, since I achieved sustained recovery from anorexia and bulimia, my days are now filled with family, friends, my beautiful pet bird Pearl, fulfilling work, fun trips (for work and vacation), good sleep, and thoughts that revolve around who I am and what I want to achieve in life.

I can laugh AND cry today and feel comfortable at both ends and all the way through the spectrum of my own emotions. When I am feeling sad, angry, tired, or some other challenging emotion, I have very helpful skills (thanks to recovery!) to support myself through it, and when I am joyful, I feel free to let it all hang out and enjoy the heck out of my own happiness!

In short, I am living now, not just existing.

A. This is a great question - thanks for asking! I love what my friend and colleague Jenni Schaefer says about this dilemma you describe - she calls it "societal Ed", as in even when we are no longer practicing our eating disordered behaviors, there is still so much cultural pressure to change how we look, to want to be "thinner", to want to look perfect, that sometimes it is hard to tell how recovered we really are - even after we are fully recovered!

This concept has been very helpful to me as well, because I now understand that just because I no longer practice my eating disorder to cope with stress in my life, this doesn't mean I am not still vulnerable to cultural messages of body imperfection. However, because I understand that this is an experience I share with folks who have had an eating disorder and also with folks who have never had an eating disorder, I also don't allow myself to blow these feelings out of proportion. In other words, I DO trust myself and the hard work of recovery I have done now - even when I'm having a bit of difficult day or someone has made a comment that just didn't come out right.

A. As you might expect, this is a common question and one of the most challenging issues that recovering people face in today's "thin ideal" culture. It is difficult - no doubt about it - and yet by looking at a human being (whether they are standing in front of you in real life or in a magazine, movie, etc) and reducing them down to just their body shape and size you dehumanize not just them, but also yourself and all of us.

One of the habits that has really helped me in my own recovery work in this area is to remind myself that the culture we live in exempts no one from feeling inadequate in how we look and how we live. Everyone is a target. I cannot assume that someone who looks "thinner" to my eyes is not feeling EXACTLY the same way I do on the inside. While it was at first extremely difficult to develop the habit of seeing a person instead of just a body - in other people, and in myself - this has helped me more than anything else.

My mentor would call it "practicing compassion".

A. It is great that you are seeking support for recovery in your local area. I am not sure what part of Australia you call home, but you might start with these organizations:

Eating Disorders Association of Queensland

Eating Disorders Association of Victoria

Australia and New Zealand Academy for Eating Disorders

The Butterfly Organization

ACEDA

(LOTS of great links on this site!) Eating Disorder Hope-Australia

I hope one or more of these organizations may point you in the direction of local support.

A. Thank you for your question. It is great that you recognize your need for support and are seeking resources in your area. The absolute best way I have found to find out what local support resources may be available in any geographic area is to take advantage of a free program offered by the National Eating Disorders Association called the "NEDA Navigators". You can contact them on the NEDA website here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/neda-navigators.php

NEDA Navigators are trained volunteers who offer to assist with requests just like yours. I don't know if they provide assistance for other issues (you mention you also struggle with depression and bipolar disorder) but if you contact them they will be able to answer that question.

For depression and bipolar disorder, you may also want to contact your local chapter of the Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance - this is the national website: www.dbsalliance.org

This organization offers support groups in many areas of the country as well as lots of online resources for sufferers and family and friends.

I hope this is helpful to you! You may also want to consider joining MentorCONNECT (for eating disorders support only) for extra options for online support.

A. Thank you for your question. I keep my schedule updated each month here in Good News, so when I am scheduled to come to Atlanta you will definitely know about it!

I would recommend that you reach out to NEDA (the National Eating Disorders Association) and find out what volunteer opportunities they have. They have a Navigator program that trains volunteers to assist recovering people and their families with finding resources in their area, and also a volunteer speakers program. You might also reach out to EDIN (Eating Disorders Information Network). They are in Atlanta and will likely have plenty of volunteer opportunities.

A. Motivation, like energy levels, ambition, and frustration, may wax and wane from day to day. Because in general, people recovering from eating disorders tend to be highly perfectionistic, "Type A" personalities who want to do a good job at whatever they decide to do, it can be very hard for us to manage the daily ups and downs, waxing and waning of enthusiasm and motivation in our recovery journey.

Just a personal aside here - but sometimes I think that is precisely why it was so necessary for me to endure those 15 hellacious years of recovery from my eating disorder - how else would I have learned to be gentle with myself, to develop patience, to see progress as valuable, to pick my battles, to celebrate the small victories, and to persevere?

You may be experiencing something similar here.

A. This is a great question and one I receive quite frequently. It always makes me happy when someone asks me this, because even as I read your email I am already picturing that suffering person surrounded by warm support from someone who loves them very much.

The best way to support a friend in recovery is to first accept that you do not need to understand eating disorders in order to understand suffering. If you have ever suffered from anything so challenging it made you hold your breath and think "I don't know if I will get through this", then you already know what your friend is going through each and every day of the healing process.

It is also important to remember that as a friend, your role on the support team is to be a friend. You are not supposed to be a counselor or therapist, a doctor or dietitian.

A. As you might imagine, this is one of the most frequently asked questions I receive. It seems that one of the principal motivating factors for people who are engaged in doing the hard work of recovery is to dream of being able to someday help others who are suffering similarly. This is a noble desire and certainly very possible with the level of need we have in this society for people who are willing to advocate and educate on behalf of those who suffer from eating disorders.

However, far more important than giving back and supporting others is first establishing a firm foundation of recovery for yourself.

A. The best place to begin is to investigate recognized resources where treatment providers are listed. Resources like EDReferral.com, EatingDisorderHope.com, and the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)'s Helpline are good places to begin your search. NEDA also has a program called the Navigators that can be very helpful. Navigators are trained volunteers who can do the research legwork for you to find support resources in your area.

I hope these resources are helpful for you as you begin your search.

xo

Shannon