When treatment doesn't work

Q. How do I overcome my eating disorder (anorexia and bulimia) which I have had for 30 years? I have been in treatment 3 times. Did not work at all.

A. I always am interested in this question - it is a frequent issue that seems to arise around the subject of "does treatment work or not". There is no one right or wrong answer to this question, although I am happy to share some thoughts.

Before giving my insights, I do have to be upfront and mention that I never had the benefit of receiving professional treatment to recover from my own battle with anorexia and bulimia, so my perspective is not as objective as it otherwise might be. However, that may also explain my unique take on whether treatment works or not.

My take on it is that even if the treatment is not ideal or perfect for our needs, there is something of value to be gained from the opportunity to go to treatment. I also believe - from personal experience and from listening to thousands of recovery stories over the last several years - that when the person is ready, recovery soon follows, regardless of whether the person has access to treatment at that specific moment in time.....or at all.

I have heard absolutely incredible recovery stories from people like myself who were not able to receive professional care. I have heard equally incredible stories from people who were able to receive the finest treatment available. And I have heard many stories from people who realized their desire to recover only after they had exhausted their treatment benefits, and they commenced to use everything they remembered learning in treatment to recover right where they were with what was at hand.

To recover from your eating disorder, you definitely need a baseline level of nutritional stability so that your brain is even able to do the hard mental and emotional work that recovery requires. So that should be your first step - it will seem like the hardest, but later you will realize it is probably the easiest, most concrete part. A certain level of nutrients = brain stability = baseline health to continue the recovery process.

Next, you need to identify WHY you want to recover. After years of hearing every reason from "I don't want to worry my mom" to "I want to have a child of my own someday", it is clear that the stronger your reason is, the more likely it is that you will be able to commit to recovery (for more on finding your reason or "key to life" read the same-named chapter in Beating Ana).

Next, you need to journal everything you can recall learning about recovery coping skills - things you learned in therapy, in treatment, in groups - anything and everything that you have tried, heard about, or have been told works in combatting the urges to re-engage with your eating disorder. Keep that list with you everywhere - I keep mine in a file on my phone so I am never without it.

Next, you need to build for yourself a system of structure and support. As I've talked with folks who've found value in treatment through the years two key themes continually emerge - the value of structure (a structured daily schedule) and the value of support (peers, groups, professionals). So assess your needs there and ask yourself how you can get creative about building in a system of daily structure and daily support. You might benefit from joining MentorCONNECT if you haven't already - membership is free and global online pro-recovery support and mentoring is offered to all members, along with wonderful free teleconferences and twice weekly online support groups.

Finally, you need to cultivate two qualities - perseverance and patience. If either of these qualities are missing your recovery progress will be erratic at best. With both qualities there is no limit to what you can accomplish regardless of how long you have been suffering.

And be sure to surround yourself with success stories until you start to identify with them more than you identify with your identity as a person who has had an ED for 30 years. We have to visualize possibilities before they become realities. Start to separate "who I am" from "I am struggling with (fill in the blanks - for you it is an eating disorder)". Who we are is not the same as what we struggle with. All humans have something they struggle with - it is part of the journey and we are all together in that.

Hope this is helpful - keep fighting!

xo

Shannon