How to tell what is real from what is unreal in the mirror

Q. How do you remind yourself that what you see is not reality in regards to one's body?

A. Like any other skill, developing the ability to distinguish the real from the unreal takes practice.

The eating disorder is not going to perceive a reflection via a standard of physical health. So first you have to ask yourself what reality you are attempting to see. Is it your reality - a reality based on health and recovery - or the eating disorder's version of what reality "should" look like - that you are looking for?

In other words, who are you entrusting your eyes to and whose feedback are you listening to? Who is telling you what is 'real' and what is 'unreal'?

For me, it basically took designating trusted others in my life to help me adjust perceptions skewed by the eating disorder's influence and input to achieve the skill you are trying to learn. I learned to rely more on my mentors and friends for accurate information about what I saw than on input coming from within me. I would literally discount anything I saw with my own eyes that was reflected back to me because I knew the eating disorder would "see" from within me and my own vision was thus not to be trusted.

Over time, as my nutrition stabilized and my brain was better able to process visual data, I began to incorporate my own perceptions back into the mix. But for many years I still relied on everything but my eyes to tell me whether I was maintaining my recovery - and used that, rather than visual reflection - to determine what I "saw" when I looked in the mirror. Most of all, rely on data from your professional treatment team - they "see" best what your body truly needs to reflect health and wellness back to you.

This would be my recommendation to you - I hope it is helpful!

xo

Shannon