Finding the right mentoring fit

Q. My MentorCONNECT mentor and I have been working together, but it just isn't working out well. I don't know why. We seem to argue instead of connecting around important issues, and I am not sure mentoring is for me. What should I do?

A. Mentoring is not an exact science. First and foremost, it is a relationship, and like any relationship, there must be a certain "chemistry" that will indicate it is a good fit. But it is also this very aspect that makes mentoring such an invaluable part of the recovery process! Building healthy, proactive, open and honest communication and relationship skills is critical to sustaining recovery. Even when the partnership between you and your mentor is not ideal, it still offers you a safe space to practice addressing conflict, problem-solving, even transition away from one mentoring relationship and into another if that is what you both decide is best. Every relationship we have offers us the chance to learn, to grow, to define and refine our preferences, to get stronger in our life coping skills, and to move that much closer to the relationship that will be the ideal fit for our mentoring needs. I always say that if at first you do not find a match, keep trying! When you do find the right match, it will be worth the time it took to get there, and along the way you may just have learned the skills you needed to know the right match when it arrived!