The Hungry Rebel

Recently I was doing some research online, and I came across a post from a girl struggling with an eating disorder. It was clear from her post that her eating disorder was causing her entire family tremendous pain. In particular it seemed that she was caught in a rebellion against her mom, who kept demanding that her daughter start eating more. In her post she lashed out at her mom, stating defiantly, ‘I’ll do whatever I want!’

Isn’t this the truth?! We WILL do whatever we want – in fact, we must do whatever we want, because ultimately we are all in search of the strongest motivator, the greatest desire, the highest goal, the biggest prize. Human evolution is driven by survival of the strongest, the fittest, the most determined. It is the rebels, the adapt-ors, the creative change artists of this world who successfully navigate the perils and potholes that unexpectedly surface in life and live to tell of it.

But what of the hungry rebel? What of the girl or boy, woman or man with an eating disorder, who rebels against those who, despite whatever shortcomings their methods of communication may have, simply want their loved one to survive? What of this girl, who in answer to her mother’s pleas to ‘eat more’, stubbornly pushes away all attempts to reach in to where it hurts and offer help? What will happen to this young hungry rebel in three months, six months, a year?

I once was one of them – I was a member of the Hungry Rebels Club. It was me and my eating disorder against the world – we would show ‘em! We would take the whole world down – all those insensitive souls who nagged at us to ‘eat more’, to explain the darkness within, to open up the barricade and unlock the double deadbolts that were slowly but surely crushing my heart. I was so consumed by the power struggle (somewhat real and somewhat imagined) going on between myself and my family, my peers and society-at-large, that I failed to notice the toll it was taking on me. I didn’t notice for many years that I was slowly dying – just to prove a pointless point.

Rebels need energy to fight. Rebels need fuel, which for the human body comes in the form of food. A hungry rebel in the age of eating disorders is not much of a rebel at all – she or he cannot muster the strength to fight the good fight, to wage the war that must be won against this epidemic wave of eating disorders that is reaching out to touch far too many lives. To be a rebel in the age of eating disorders is to stand up and fight AGAINST ED – to view every morsel of food, every drop of fluid, and every moment of vulnerable, courageous honesty in recovery work as milestones in an epic fight to the death against ED - FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE. Because, the simple, horrific fact is, a hungry rebel in the age of eating disorders is a dead rebel – and there is no glory or victory to be found in that.

We rebels must pick our battles – and as we do, we must choose carefully. Those around us who love us may not have the communication skills, or any skills at all, to love us in the way we want and need to be loved. But that does not mean that we should sacrifice ourselves on the altar of, ‘because she said that, I’ll say this’, or, ‘because he didn’t do that, I won’t do this’. The question that every hungry rebel must as him or herself is this – ‘Is this the decision that is BEST for me, for my recovery, for the preservation and restoration of my life?’ If the answer is no, then the proposed battle is an ambush the eating disorder has laid out for us, and we would do best to step aside.

If the answer is yes, however, then it doesn’t matter if our designated arch-enemy agrees with what we are about to do. We must do it. We must stand up, step forward, and FIGHT. It is as simple as that.

Much love,

Shannon

If you would like to submit a question or idea for a topic you would like to see addressed in a future edition, please send it to Shannon c/o Good News HERE