Food isn’t the issue
by Liz Hardy

Food isn’t the issue
But I make it that way
It’s easier to focus on numbers than names and faces
And moments gone past

One scoop
You really shouldn’t be eating that
You’re going to get fat
Stop it Liz, food isn’t the issue

One forkful
Am I really swallowing this?
Shouldn’t I have soda with this?
Food isn’t the issue

You really want to get rid of whatever calorie laden food you just swallowed?
Go ahead and kneel over the toilet
You let him win
No one gets hurt right?
You do. But you’re the exception to the rule, right?

Food isn’t the issue
When those images come flooding back
And you let them rule your life
No wonder you don’t eat
When you can hardly see what’s before you
Actual reality is sobering

No wonder you chose this path
When that nightmare begins anew
And all you can do is hope losing weight will make it lessen a bit
Have time stand still
Deal with the issue but not like this

Don’t take it out on your food
But you can’t take it out on him
You never will
Your issue is with him
Not calories

You can’t let yourself feel anger or pain
You sure as hell don’t want to give this a name
Food wasn’t the issue
When he stood over you and laughed
Food wasn’t the issue
When you turned your head and cried
Food wasn’t the issue
This is just the way you chose to fight back

Silently your mind asks you to pretend once again
Willing you to disappear and forget
Forgetting still that you still bear the shame
Food isn’t the issue
So please just eat
So for today, he doesn’t win
And tomorrow once again
You can begin to fight back

Every time that you choose not to eat
You choose not to cry
You bottle your emotion up yet again

Every time you do this
You are giving him power to win
When all you really want is to be free
To live.
Stop choosing the opposite.