Taking Chances

For those of us whose lives are affected by eating disorders, February is the most important month of our year. National Eating Disorders Awareness Week falls during the last week of February each year. NEDAW is our New Year – the time when we can take an inventory of the past year’s worth of recovery work, make resolutions, pat ourselves on the back for progress made, and resolve to move forward with courage and perseverance into the future.

In my own reflections this month, I have been noticing that there are certain areas in my life where I am a natural-born risk-taker. And then there are other areas where taking a risk is about as likely to happen as…er…well…making friends with a cockroach springs to mind.

Which has made me wonder - where do we learn to take chances? What makes us willing – or not so willing? Where do those fears come from that stand in our way so immovably – you know the ones I mean. The ones that won’t listen to reason, that make no sense, that build and build until their strength in numbers seems to outnumber our own…..

And yet, we are survivors. Why is there still so much doubt? We have already risked everything – more than once – to cling to life in the face of a disease that kills twelve times more young women each year than any other psychiatric disorder. We can take chances – we take chances every day when we wake up again and FIGHT for our lives. We have PROVEN that we have what it takes to do ANYTHING we set our powerful minds to. Just how much proof do we require before we can finally feel that confidence for ourselves?

I love the new ‘Taking Chances’ song by Celine Dion….and I suspect I’m not the only one. As I listen to the lyrics, I realize that when we start something new – a new project, a new relationship, a new facet of recovery work – we really don’t know much about it. That is a scary place to be for all of us, and that part will probably never change. We are learning about ourselves, about other people, about situations, for the first time, and it takes a lot of courage no matter how many times we have done it or how much success we may have previously enjoyed. Acknowledging the risk we are taking, the fear we feel, the courage we are displaying, each time we take a chance, is actually what gives us the willingness to take a risk once more.

These days, when I find that I am afraid to jump, afraid to risk, afraid to reach out or let someone reach in, I tell myself, ‘What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge?’ Then, I listen very respectfully for my own answer. I listen to my fears, my objections. Sometimes I even write some of them down. I sound them out with friends. I allow myself to speak fully, to vent about what may have gone wrong in the past and what I am afraid might go wrong again in the future. I don’t beat myself up for having doubts, reservations and hesitations. I don’t try to intimidate or shame myself into taking the risk before I am ready. I just listen….until I have said all that I needed to say to myself, and have heard from myself all that I needed to hear.

Only then do I gently ask myself once more, ‘So, Shannon, now that you’ve got all that off your chest – what do you say to taking chances?’

Then, if my answer is a 'yes', I leap.

If you have time this month, give Celine’s song a listen. Even better, listen to the song, and then watch Queen Latifah in the movie ‘Last Holiday’ as she goes through this process for herself, and comes out the other side the richer for it.

Then ask yourself, ‘What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to going THROUGH whatever lies ahead to get to where you want to go? What do you say to living more, loving more, and, from here forward, simply resolving to be less afraid?’

I say – it’s a brand New Year - let’s go for it!

Warmly and with HOPE,

Shannon

If you would like to submit a question or idea for a topic you would like to see addressed in a future edition, please send it to Shannon c/o Good News HERE