NOTE TO PARTICIPANTS: Make sure to bookmark this page and return to it often to connect with others who are seeking to mentor and be mentored!

Available MENTEES**:

Emily: My name is Emily. I am 21 years old and I have been suffering from compulsive overeating for 4 years and bulimia for 2. I have been pursuing recovery since Jan 08. My support team currently includes group therapy sessions, my mom, and a few select friends. I want to break my binge/purge cycle and rid myself of obssessive thoughts of food. I am currently working to eat well-balanced, healthy meals and rid my labels of good and bad food. I have learned that perfection is not the key to success, but persistence is. CONTACT Emily

Kim: Hi, my name is Kim and I am 52 years old. I am struggling with bingeing. I started around 7 years ago to be obsessed with binging and purging through exercise. The obsession quieted down a bit after about 2 years but I still struggle every day constantly thinking about food and punishing myself for not being able to control my eating and weight.I live where I do because I was engaged and the relationship ended after I moved. I have no friends here, my family has never been supportive, and unfortunately I work from home and see no one day after day. Very isolated. I have tried book clubs, hiking clubs numerous ways to try to meet others. I am still trying. I looked for a therapist in the area I was living in 7 years ago and there was one who was too busy to see me. I drove over an hour to see a therapist who charged me lots of money and suggested I eat what I wanted when I wanted. I also attended overeaters anonymous and that I know is not the way for me to recover.I have been involved in 12 step meetings Alanon and Co dependent groups for many years. I tried some local groups but it seems there is no interest and some have stopped meeting or perhaps one person shows up. I was married and both husbands were alcoholics. I have been in therapy most of my adult years. I was married twice both times to an alcoholic and have been in several very destructive reationships the last which was just 2 years ago. I am single now and feel the eating disorder was always present but I was busy focusing my addiction on the men in my life. Now I am alone and chose to be til I can get help and a lifestyle that can support me living with this disorder. I am living in New York state and was happy to know there is a center that works with those with eating disorders. I went to the support group and all members were very young . The group was not helpful. I am seeing a therapist and have been for the past year or more at the center and have had the same experience I have had with most, talking about my past, and being referred to read numerous books, none on eating disorders til this one because I was pressing the issue about my obsession with bingeing. I need a team of providers , MD, nutritionist , therapist and support group. I have no connections where I am living and will relocate to put me near a place where I can get help as I need it. I am hoping to find a support group with members of a similar age . I don't know where to start. I need someone to talk to . I am reading Life Without ED and will begin to do things in the book but it is hard to focus.I am so sick of reading. I am looking for a mentor and for me to be the mentee. CONTACT KIM

Katie: Hi, my name is Katie. I'm sixteen years old, and have been struggling with anorexia for 2 years. Even though I haven't had the disease for too many years, I feel like it has taken me over. Last July I was admitted to the hospital to get medically stable, then a treatment facility which helped me a lot, as well. However, the ED has been creeping its way back to me. I would love to have a mentor who has experienced what I'm going through and can offer support. Sometimes nutritionists, psychiatrists, and therapists just aren't enough to beat this awful illness. CONTACT Katie

Kim: Hi, I just read about your mentor/mentee program on Jenni Schaefer's blog. I would love to participate. I just turned 29 years old and have been struggling with anorexia (restrictive type) for about 10 years. I have definitely improved over the years and I'm not in any sort of crisis mode, but I know there's more out there for me. I have some weight to gain still, but, more importantly, I want to learn more about dealing with fear, anxiety, perfectionism, etc. Those things nag me daily, even if I eat what I need to eat. Currently, I see a nutritionist and a wonderful therapist. Ideally, I want to get to my healthy weight, and learn to love myself along the way. It's been hard for me to approach recovery without beating myself up for not being "over this by now." I'm really trying to be kinder to myself. I know recovery is gradual; there is no big parade. I think that saddens me a little. Anyway, if you can hook me up with a mentor, I'd be so appreciative. Support, even in Web land, is so important! CONTACT Kim

Jessica: My name is Jessica, and I was given your website/referral by my nutritionist. I am currently in the third week of recovery from anorexia. I am not sure as to how long I have been going through this, as it was not until my friends expressed their concern and worry for me that I started to see something was wrong with my eating habits and weight.I would love to find a mentor in my area, as I live in Tempe AZ. (85282 zip if that helps). I am 21 years old,and am also working on getting through body dysmorphia, and I definitely feel that having a mentor who has experienced the feelings that someone has with anorexia could really be helpful.Thank you so much, and I look forward to hearing from you:) CONTACT Jessica

Bobbie: Hi, I have been subscribing to Shannon’s newsletter for a while and just read about Mentor Connect. While one day I would love to be a mentor, for now I am still in my ED and would really like a mentor. My name is Bobbie, I am 28, live in the UK. I have been bulimic since I was 13, at times anorexic and now I would class myself as a binge eater. I also suffer from depression and isolate a lot. I have been inpatient many times and it has taken me years to get to the point where I am sick and tired of the disease. It has almost cost me my life. I would like a mentor to be there to encourage me and guide me. I need someone to turn to when I am struggling and someone who can remind me of where I am going when I feel tempted to give up. I would really like a mentor who has experienced the different facets of ED (anorexia, bulimia and binge eating), someone who is spiritual and is enjoying life in recovery. I have lost many years of my life to this disease and I don’t want to lose anymore. Life is for living. CONTACT Bobbie

Ashley: My name is Ashley. I am 23 years old, suffering from bulimia.  I would LOVE to have a mentor guide me and help me through this process.  I'm currently seeking treatment and starting an intensive outpatient program this week. I hope to eventually be in a place where food is not my enemy. CONTACT Ashley

Kimberly: Hi! My name is Kim and I am a rising junior in college. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder (EDNOS, for lack of a better, more specific diagnosis) in early March of this year. I have been in therapy at school for 4 months, but now that I am home for summer break, my resources are seriously limited, as no one in my family knows about my disorder. The only person who does know (aside from my therapist) is my best friend and roommate. It has caused a serious rift between us and she is really upset by it. In therapy, I've been working to "sort through my bowl of spaghetti" as my therapist says. My life and my problems are like a bowl of spaghetti - it's tangled and everything is all tied together and all I can do is take out one strand at a time and work on it. One of the biggest issues she's been helping me tackle is working on my self-esteem and my guilt complex. I have a tremendously difficult time not feeling guilty - for everything from getting a bad grade to getting a friend lost with driving directions to forgetting to set the dinner table. I take a lot of my mistakes and faults very seriously and I don't feel worthy of praise and good things sometimes because of my guilt. Somehow I have taken it upon myself to be the one to fix everyone else's problems at the expense of my own life and happiness and I can't get out of the mindset that that's just my job. My support system is close to nothing, since I am not able to see my therapist at school now that I am home for the summer, and I am incredibly hesitant to ask my parents to help me find a therapist at home because they do not know about my eating disorder, and I don't want them to. I really hope that this mentor/mentee program works out because it is my only way to get help right now. CONTACT Kimberly

Jade: Age: 30; Gender: F; Type of ED: EDNOS/Anexoria and Exercise Bulimia; Recovery-related issues: Just taking one day at a time; Length of illness: about 2 years; Length of time pursuring recovery: about 7 months; Current support team: Boyfriend and family, some friends; Recovery goals: Stop seeing the numbers and start loving myself. I am looking to be a mentee. Right now I cannot afford the treatment needed, but honestly think that I am doing okay. (Family and boyfriend also agree, even though we would all love to see me in some sort of treatment) I have been able to get myself to increase my calories. I am not really exercising right now, but would like to start again, just worried about the exercise bulimia causing issues again. CONTACT Jade

Lisa: My name is Lisa and I am 42. Of course, by my name, you may have guessed I am female. I am currently fighting Anorexia and Exercise Bulimia. I have had this disorder since about the age of 18. I have had periods of recovery and periods of relapse. About he last 10 years or so, it has been more of a relapse than recovery. I have been pursuing recovery since the age of 22 and have been to treatment several times. I have been exposed to CBT skills, DBT skills and plenty of nutrition classes. I am working on grief issues and attend a therapy group that is located about 60 miles from my house. Since the gas prices has been escalating, I can attend only about once a month. I live in an area that resources for eating disorders are few and far between. I only have access to Overeaters Anonymous and limited meetings with that. There are no eating disorder therapists in my area that take my issurance and I can't afford out of pocket expenses. I have learned a lot in pursuing recovery but still have yet to learn how to live "life on life's terms" symptom free.I would appreciate any guidance that someone has the time to give. Please let me know. Thank you very much. CONTACT Lisa

Alyssa: Hi my name is Alyssa. I am a 20 year old female. I am looking for a mentor who can offer advice on overcoming bulimia. I have had anorexia/bulimia for about 9 years. Thank you! CONTACT Alyssa

Christina: My name is Christina and I am in my early 30s. I was recovered from EDNOS/ Anorexic Bulimic tendencies for about 5 years, have dealt with the ed for a total of about 10 and in the past year/ year and a half I have relapsed and I am dealing with anorexia/ restricting. I have also moved across the country and started a new job. I just started with a new therapist and nutritionist but feel that I need more support to get out of the relapse that I am in. I can't seem to pull myself ut and although i had a long period of recovery, I don't know that I ever really let go of the sense of control that I feel ed gives me. CONTACT Christina

Emerson: Eating Disorder: Anorexia; Behaviors: Water Restricting, Picking, Over exersising; Length with Anorexia: 3 years; In Recovery: 8 months; Current support team: UCSD Eating Disorders clinic; Recovery goals: To love my GENES and wear JEANS that fit, to be comfortable in my own skin, and to be able to deal with my problems without resorting to my eating disorder; Learned: How to cope without using my eating disorder. CONTACT Emerson

Sarah Jo: I'm interested in becoming a Mentee. Here's a bit about me: I'm 30-ish, female. Type of eating disorder: ana; ana + bulumia in the past; Any other recovery-related issues you are working on: saying no, guilt; Length of illness: about 15 years; Length of time pursuing recovery: about 3 years, did best during last half of pregnancy (almost 9 months ago), not doing so great again; Current support team: husband, long-distance friend, family members (indirectly); Recovery goals: Be more comfortable with eating foods I haven’t prepared/eating out. Gain at least 5-10 pounds. Feel comfortable about my body and that 5 pounds. Be happier as a result of not dealing with an ED.; Key learnings from your recovery journey thus far: used to meal plan and did better about meeting all my daily caloric needs that way. Don’t meal plan currently, but there are days when the food I’m eating isn’t as familiar, therefore I tend to restrict. CONTACT Sarah Jo

Kristen: Hello. My name is Kristen and I'm looking for a mentor to help me along in my recovery from bulimia. I'm 21 years old and have struggled with my eating disorder for about 3 years. I also struggle with depression and anxiety, which I believe is why my eating disorder developed. My support team currently consists of my parents, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and a medical doctor. I am doing well so far and have made it 41 days without bingeing or purging. Now I'm trying to take the necessary steps to stay in recovery and prevent relapse. Having a mentor would be a huge help so I can talk to someone that can relate to what I'm going through, and hopefully learn from their experiences. Thanks and I hope to hear from someone soon! CONTACT Kristen

Lisa: Hello my name is Lisa and I am 31 years old. I have been struggling with food my whole life but over the last 2 years I have had anarexia and bulimia. I was in a recovery program that consisted of once weekly sessions with a therapist but two weeks ago she told me not to come back until I was willing to get more serious and get more help. I want to get better but I have no one in my life. The only one who knows about my eating disorder is my sister and I really feel like she has no idea as to what I am going through. She just tells me to eat! I have no friends and no social life. I am really looking for someone who understands how I feel and that I can confide in. I am at a point were I really do not know what to do. I binge and purge at least once a day and I really feel like I cannot control it. Any help you can provide will be greatly appreciated. Thank you! CONTACT Lisa

Cait: Hi, my name is Cait and I'm 20 years old. I have been bulimic for four years. It started in high school when I played tennis. I became addicted to working out. I got hurt and had to have knee surgery, so I had to sit out for a season. That's when I started restricting, and eventually it led to bulimia. I have finally accepted that I need help. I haven't told anyone in four years, and I now know that I can't recover alone, that's why I'm looking for a mentor, someone who might have gone through the same thing and someone that I can talk to. I want so bad for bulimia not to be a part of my life anymore. I'm taking my life back, and with a little help, I know I can do it. Thanks :) CONTACT Cait

Janet: I am looking for a mentor to assist me in my recovery from eating disorder. I am a female in my 50’s who has been bulimic for 43 years. I am doing well in my recovery but sometimes binge once or twice a month. thanks. CONTACT Janet

Sara: I'm looking for a mentor. I'm 21. I've been struggling with both anorexia and bulimia for 7 years--currently bulimia. I work with 2 therapists and a dietitian, and I'm about to go to residential treatment. I've been in recovery for almost 6 months, but I've been getting worse instead of better--just went from an anorexic period into a bulimic period. I guess my biggest goal in recovery is to build a life worth recovering TO, rather than just trying to recover FROM this stuff. Thanks. CONTACT Sara

Zahra: I'm writing because I read Jenni Shaefer's blog post about finding a mentor. So here is the basic information about me: Age: 20; Disorder: Anorexic/Bulimic from 16-present; Recovery: Second year of recovery, seeing a therapist and am on medication (prozac) to battle depression; Eating patterns: Usually quite normal although I tend to binge/purge 2-3 times a week; Looking for: a mentee. Thanks! CONTACT Zahra

Lindsey: Hi, my name is Lindsey and I'm looking for a Mentor. I'm 20, female and bulimic. I have been bulimic for about five years now, and I'm ready to gain my life back. I've realized it's taking over who I am, and I don't want that any more. I've never really done a recovery thing before, i'm struggling to do this on my own. I have a friend who is anorexic lives in Australia ,but is now unable to talk very much. I think i'm loosing my grip without someone there to talk to, and would love someone who shares the same things and understands. I've never been the self harm person, but I have done it a few times. I don't really have the desire to ever do it again, but the thought still lingers.. if that makes sense. CONTACT Lindsey

Patrick: Dear Key To Life, I was recently on your website and I would like to join the program. I am a 25 year old former men's college lacrosse player and I have just returned from recovery in Florida. My recovery changed my life, yet I know my recovery has just started. My goal now is to help others. I would love to be apart of the mentor, mentee program. For there are times that I feel alone being a guy and fighting this disorder. I haven't been in recovery for more than a year, so I would need to be a mentee. I look forward to hearing back from you. I am attaching my life story I wrote while in recovery, and a poem. This will help you better understand me and my recovery. Keep up the great work and I am truly excited about this. CONTACT Patrick

FIONA: Hello, I recently came across information about your mentor/mentee program through Jenni Schaeffer's recovery blog. I wish I were at a point where I could be a mentor to others, however, I am instead looking for a mentor myself. I am 44, recently divorced, I live in ME and I have allowed an eating disorder to run my life for over 27 years. I have been to some of the best treatment programs available, and I have participated in therapy of every type imaginable for most of those 27 years. I am ashamed to admit that I know a great deal about eating disorders, both from a personal and educational perspective. I am an expert at denial, rationalization, minimizing, and I spend a great deal of time in my head. I have made a mess of my life and alienated everyone who ever tried to help or get close to me, including family members who have been forced to give up for their own self-preservation. Over the past 27 years I managed a recovery period (roughly 2 ½ years) where I was able to experience life without an ED. I relapsed in 2004 and I've been trying to get back to that point ever since. This summer I have allowed myself to become more entrenched in the ED than I ever thought possible. I honestly did not think my life could get any worse, but to my astonishment it has. I worry that I will never be able to overcome the shameful behavior and absence of conscience that I practice on a daily basis. I use this shame as justification to continue this ED and avoid the more difficult path of recovery and the reality of my life. I read somewhere that once a person's conscience is stretched, it can never go back to where it was. I'm terrified that this is true and that I am living proof. I'm terrified I have reached the point where I no longer have the resilience or willingness takes to overcome the worst part of myself. I know all too well that the change can not come from another person, another treatment program, or another therapist. It has to come from me. I just don't know how to stop choosing the ed over the chance for a better life. Unless it's because I don't truly believe that is an option for me. I have little confidence in my chance for success, and I reinforce this every day I willingly choose the ed over life, serenity, connection, relationship, freedom, family, success, intimacy, or anything construed as positive. I realize that I'm probably not a great candidate for a mentor, but I didn't want to misrepresent myself either. Believe it or not, I am interested in recovering, despite how discouraging I sound. Regardless, this was a good opportunity to hear my own perspective. Thanks very much for listening. CONTACT Fiona

Allison: I'm 21 and have been diagnosed with ED-NOS, my symptoms being restricting and compulsive exercising. I just got out of a partial hospitalization program, Centre Syracuse, last week. I was there for 8 weeks and it was my second time there. (I was there for five weeks last summer.) I've had my eating disorder since I was 15 or 16, but it didn't get addressed until March or April of last year. I currently have a therapist, a PA who manages my meds, a nutritionist I see periodically but keep in touch with, and a support group that I go to weekly. The support group is held at Centre Syracuse for people who have been through the program. This past time in treatment I actually made a lot of progress and discovered some of the things that I need to work on and how my eating disorder serves me. I realized that I use it to block out my emotions. So one of my goals is to let myself feel the emotions that make me uncomfortable--anger, anxiety, sadness, etc--and to identify and sort through them. I also realized that I use my eating disorder as a way of communicating, so I also want to work on being able to confront people--especially my parents--when I am bothered by something, am not doing well, or am upset. I also realized that I still have anger issues, so that's another thing I need to work through. I also didn't realize that I still identify myself with the eating disorder. My body image is also pretty terrible, so I am trying to work on accepting that. I think that's about it. Thanks. CONTACT Allison


NOTE: Remember, to join MentorCONNECT, just send us an email and let us know who you are, where you are in your recovery, and what you are looking for (to be a mentor or a mentee).

Details you might want to include: your email address, your first name (or alias for confidentiality), age, gender, type of eating disorder, any other recovery-related issues you are working on, length of illness, length of time pursuing recovery, current support team, recovery goals, key learnings from your recovery journey thus far, anything else you wish to share.

We will post the emails here on this page and you can connect with one another! Any questions - email us and we will do our best to answer them for you!

*Mentor: a trusted guide who has knowledge and experience in a certain area, and is willing and able to share it.
**Mentee: a person in need of guidance and instruction, and is willing to receive it.

NOTE: This forum is provided as an option to connect those in strong recovery with those who are striving to strengthen in their recovery. It is NOT meant to replace the supervision and care of a qualified medical professional, and should never be construed as such. Use this service at your own risk. Shannon Cutts & Key to Life can NOT be held liable for any activities undertaken as a part or result of participating in this unmonitored forum.

NOTE TO MINORS: Before participating, obtain permission from your parents or legal guardian(s).